Cold-messaged an alum for a referral and it worked. Sharing the message, since mine used to get ignored.

I sent about thirty of these last year and got two replies, both polite nos. Changed the approach in March and it's been six replies out of eleven, three referrals, one of which turned into the offer I start next month.

The difference wasn't politeness. Mine were always polite. It's that I stopped making it a favour request.

Roughly what I send now:

• One line on the actual connection. Same college, same batch year. Not "I admire your journey".
• One line naming the specific req and why I'm plausible for it — two things from the posting I genuinely have, no padding.
• The ask, sized small: "if it looks like a fit, would you forward it? If not, no reply needed, no hard feelings."
• Resume attached without being asked.

That last one felt presumptuous and I think it's the change that mattered most. Nobody wants to reply to a stranger just to ask them to send a thing.

Whole message is under 90 words now. The long ones never got answered, which honestly makes sense — they were asking someone I'd never met for fifteen minutes of reading.