My team lost four people in the layoffs and I kept my job, and I've been useless since

Two of them sat next to me for three years. I found out at 9:40am and had sprint planning at 10.

Nobody prepares you for the version of this where you're fine. There's no sympathy for it and there probably shouldn't be — they lost their income, I lost coworkers. But I'm doing the work of about two and a half people now, I flinch every time a calendar invite appears, and I keep thinking about how easily the list could have been different.

Anyone been on this side of it? Does the flinching stop?