caused my first production incident three weeks in and the postmortem was somehow less scary than I'd built it up to be

Pushed a config change three weeks in that took down part of checkout for about twenty minutes. Was convinced I was about to get walked out. Postmortem instead spent most of the time on why the review process let it through, not on what I personally did wrong. Nobody even said my name in the doc. Still triple-check every diff now but the fear of it happening again has mostly turned into just being careful.